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As with all developmental skills, thinking and decision-making need to be practiced, and the adults in a child's life are the coaches! Answering children's questions with a simple yes or no might be easiest, but often, questions offer excellent opportunities to prompt children to think more deeply, define an idea, or consider the consequences of a decision. For example, your child is asking to go to a classmate's home for a playdate when you already have plans to go to the park. Before saying yes, remind your child of your previous plans and ask him to consider alternative solutions. Perhaps you could invite the friend to go to the park with you, you might decide to reschedule the park trip, or maybe the best decision is to follow through with plans to go to the park and plan a playdate another day. The important part is explaining the ramifications of one choice over another and offering your child some say in the decision.  

Opportunities to practice thinking and decision-making skills arise as you help your children come to logical conclusions about daily activities, such as what shoes to wear on a rainy day or out into the snow. The key is to give children just the right amount of guidance and allow thinking time. Instead of saying, "Get your boots," ask your child, "Which shoes will keep your feet warm and dry today?"  Be prepared for illogical choices! Less-than-perfect choices (within reason) are often better teachers in the long run. For example, cold toes at age three lead to warm toes at age four. Some lessons may have to be learned more than once before your child masters good decision-making, but you can help by anticipating pitfalls and offering a plan B. 

As children grow, they should learn that you are not the only source of information. Help them find their own answers by asking questions. Affirm the wonder they experience and then ask a who, what, why, where, or how question before you check Google or other sources. How do you think the ship got in the bottle? Where do you think the water in the glass went? Which path do you think will be faster? Reasoning questions can also be applied to self-care issues, such as, "What do you think will happen if you stay up late tonight?" or “How will eating your carrots help you?”

When children feel their opinions are valued and are given adequate time to think, they become better and faster thinkers and decision-makers. You might even be surprised when your children become sources of creative and original solutions! Most importantly, children receive the subtle message that they are capable, contributing members of their family and community. Thinking skills can be woven into the fabric of children, creating thoughtful and confident decision-makers.